Since Natacha came here she is so, how you say, she is entering to everything, she is full of life here anxious for knowledge. She was always more interested in the past than the present although she was always interested in the future too. She is an extraordinary character but she is wrapped up in Egyptology, Egyptians. She is studying still, going through the what you would call archives, I suppose, meeting interesting characters, and she had one or two shocks you know she had discovered something of ourselves of our previous existence in Egypt and that has of course, been a great surprise really for her. I think she had some idea but not really sufficient to give her enough proof. She always had this impression, this idea that she was associated with Egypt centuries ago and now she is meeting various souls here that were of that time and she is very much surprised to find that we were together in ancient Egypt centuries ago.
Natacha realises of course, certain things, she is regretting certain material things, but then of course these things do not last with us. We see things much more clearly we are good friends, we are very close, there is a bond between us but it is a bond of understanding and affection of course, love is important on this side, it is the vital factor behind all life but there are facets of love that are difficult to explain. This is not a physical thing it is a mental and spiritual thing. We are mentally and physically very close and now of course, she understands certain things that went wrong with out own lives and there are regrets but at the same time she can see that it was a pattern that we had to follow. You know to some extent we are given a lot of rope and at the same time we cannot stray too far that way or this way.
We have to work out our lives in a certain if you like restricted area, we can do things that are good or we can do things that are bad but the point is that there are limits. I do not mean by that when we are on earth we are puppets and that someone else pulls the strings but at the same time although we are given freedom of expression, freedom to form and develop are own personality and character and we have opportunity to experience many things in different ways which are necessary for our spiritual progression it does not alter the fact that every life, you see, is a sort of not exactly constricted but is within certain limits. In other words, in each life you can assimilate so much or experience so much according to circumstances and conditions of your earthly life, but you cannot go beyond a certain boundary. It is as if there certainly must be in every form of life, or rather every condition of life according to which ever incarnation It may be, there must be by the very nature of time itself, limitation. All this I find very interesting and, of course she has learnt a great deal. She understands much now naturally it is human still because we are still in some ways far from perfect.
There is much room for improvement. We have regrets we see mistakes which we have made, but we realise that also with these mistakes we have learnt things. It has not always been easy to learn from disaster, or tragedy, or sadness, or whatever it maybe that has caused us unhappiness, from that unhappiness to some extent we have gained some knowledge all this is very important. She has learnt a great deal and we are all learning, we are all on different strata’s of evolution yet, we maybe and are very much linked like you and Leslie in fact so many people who are linked in our history, in our evolution each playing their own part, each in someway or other having something to offer or to give to the other. I can see the pattern, it is so beautiful. No one need worry, you know, if things don’t always work out the way which one hope, maybe it is for a purpose, it is the pattern of things, it is difficult to explain but every thread is important to the tapestry and none of us perhaps foresee the complete picture but we are playing an important part. There can be no perfection, no realisation without everyone contributing in some way. You know we are all a product of other peoples’ thoughts and ideas, we like to flatter ourselves that we are individuals, we are different, but, in a sense, we are not.
Whatever success we may become it is due not so much to ourselves, although there maybe some aspects of self that have made us a success, but it is really a great deal due to other peoples’ efforts. Whatever we may achieve we cannot take it to ourselves it is a product of many other peoples’ influences. I realize more and more that although one retains ones’ personality and individuality, ones’ own character, if you like, at the same time whatever we achieve, whatever we become, we are the product of thousands of minds and ideas. One feels so much more here how we are a part of the Brotherhood of man, that is the thing. I look back on my personal life, my earthly life, my last incarnation and I can see the pattern so well. At the time of course one could not see it, one could not visualise it, I mean, for instance, the way in which I was pushed into movies, or rather, shall I say, the way I came into the movies was a series of events I had not sought in particular. I did not go out of my way particularly to enter into the Movies, it was as if I had to go into certain avenues which eventually led to it.
To me it was just, well, some way to earn dollars, some way to earn money and gradually I began to see the possibility of artistic expression and, of course, Natacha made a big contribution to me in that way to the possibilities. I think she was the first to open my eyes in that way to the possibilities. There were many things about Natacha that were very good artistically, and aesthetically she was a remarkable woman in many ways. If she had been able to continue her career and given the opportunities which she deserved she could have made a great contribution in art in various ways especially in the films, the movies you know. You see, people do not understand this, I know that Natacha was driven, I suppose you might say, by her own sort of ego. She could not help that anymore than another person can help being what they are in particular.
Everyone to some extent must be what they are to some extent; there are fundamentals things within each individual which develop their character, their own personality. I had this something, this ability to be able to create something which is, I don’t know something of myself. Of course I realize now, that many of the things I did and many of the things I would have liked to have done if the opportunity had been presented or if I could have stayed on earth a few more years, no doubt, could have expressed certain things which would have been beneficial, at least artistically with integrity. It is all very complex. We are all to some extent the victims of other peoples thoughts and idea’s, we are moulded not always by ourselves. It is true that we are moulded, in a sense, by ourselves but we can only, as it where, express certain things according to the opportunities that may be presented to us. My artistic life as, If I can so call it, was stinted to some extent.
That is why when we had free reign with ‘Beaucaire’ we were able to do something which was hailed everywhere as an artistic triumph, and I think it was an artistic triumph. I think it, was well, you know people say there was not harmony, well it depends on what you mean by harmony but during that picture, there were certain complexities it is true, but there was a great realisation that we were making something that was really of an artistic nature that could be a great artistic success. It is not true to say that Natacha was disliked. A lot of people did not understand her. Some people resented her being a woman, in particular I suppose, having too much zest for power but they realized her integrity, her artistic integrity and they bowed their heads to that, they accepted that, we did not have too much unpleasantness as some people like to suggest on the set.
They realized she was a remarkable, intelligent, clever woman but she was good for me in that sense, but it was not good for me from the point of view of publicity. It was not good for me from the point of view of the fans, the editors of the magazines and so on, they suggested that I was under her thumb. Well, certainly I was in love but at the same time I realized that I was in love with a very talented clever woman who knew much more about certain things appertaining to period and design and the use of texture and material and all these things are very important to films particularly, that is why ‘Beaaucaire’ was such a success, artistically a great success and the scenario was a good one. I don’t know there are always people who don’t see as they should see and when they read about my life there is so much stupidity put into my life that people write about, that is not so. But you know this, but other people don’t know. Perhaps, one day the whole truth can be revealed and I know you will do your part in that which is why we talk so much about this book which will eventually come into print. How long it is going to be I don t know but it is going to happen, and the Spiritual Truths underlying so much I wanted to give out.
A lot of people have built up a certain aspect of myself which does not exist in reality. Same happened with Don Juan, all those people, there are always people, I mean there are always people when they think of me now, in my last incarnation, they think of me as a Don Juan, which I was not, as you well know. They confuse the kinds of films which I appear and my personal and private life which is totally different. Anyway we don’t want to worry about that. Gradually people will begin to think differently perhaps. After all what really matters is what I am able to convey from this side of life which will benefit the whole human race, to give them a new conception of life and of love and of eternal life. You see, I am concerned with things that matter, not things that do not matter. I am not suggesting that certain material aspects of life do not matter, of course they matter very much when you are living with them, they are important. But what is important is the realisation that life continues and that as we Live and sow, as it were, on earth so in consequence we reap here.
I mean it is as simple as that, fundamentally, although there are many nuances and many complications which people cannot readily assess or understand while on earth. There are many things which, as I have already said, we cannot hope to explain but we do what we can. But it is important for people to realize is that life on earth is important as it is, as if it were a training ground for the Soul’s evolution. Often it is necessary to have many incarnations because the soul has the opportunity then of experiencing much that will benefit it. We can only hope to progress when you have suffered greatly and experienced much. It isn’t in one life sufficient, invariably it is very insufficient.
One has to have many experiences and many lives and, in themselves, they seem a long time when you are living them, but in time itself they are, in time, infinitesimal. I mean people just don’t seem to realize that life itself is not what it seems on the surface and time itself is an illusion. One may cram a lot into a short time, or it may take some people aeons of time to progress as far as some people may progress in a short time. Life is not judged, fortunately, by time and space. Life is something so immense and tremendous that it experiences itself in many ways, and it is essential to have lives on earth, sometimes several lives on earth. People should not readily dismiss this as some sort of imaginative thing, because it is quite simple.
Earthly bodies they are being born every second and they are dying every second. They, in themselves, are but the shells or the casket that contain for the time being the expression of the Soul and one learns so much in the time that one is evolving on earth from childhood to old age. All the lives that one may have are essential but when they are all put together they make a pattern, and from that pattern we are able to become, as it were, a complete personality. You cannot become a complete individual personality in one experience. It takes many, many experiences, many lives of experience. People should be more understanding about these things and not be so prejudiced and narrow. You know, Natacha’s life was not a wasted life.
There are some people who say it was a wasted existence because she did not achieve very much. Artistically she had such integrity. It is true that in a sense, she did not achieve what she set out to do or what she wanted to do and to some extent was disillusioned but she was caught up with this mysticism as some people like to refer to it, but there was a lot more integrity in that too, than people realized, she had a great power of foresight, she was a sensitive, in a sense a medium too, and I helped her as best as I could, but it was difficult.
All this is difficult for me to explain, but she was so beset by beauty, so anxious that it should be revealed in truth and integrity of purpose. She was a high minded soul, you know, people don’t give her full enough credit. Of course, it is true in a material sense if you look at it on a purely material basis and level. In some way our material lives were not a success, we were not particularly happy. She was at that time very young and very dominant in personality and I was too much in love to fight, although there were times when we had terrible rows. OH! I don’t know why I talk about this but I just want you to know. We have a perfect understanding here.
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